Lost in the Noise

Was it ok to be lost in the noise of the machine
as I could not react to the unexpected knock
so different than the normal routine
The call lit up the uncertainty
like an electric shock
in my immaturity

I am used to creating silence and patiently wait
to see if quiet praying will illuminate
neurons in my brain to attenuate
love beyond human capacity
It must learn to resonate
at the right frequency

Disappointment was temporary as now I know
my reaction was well outside my control
Explained in the unreturned echo
it only mattered that I heard
the quiet in my soul
be remembered

 

I was mowing the lawn when for no apparent reason God’s love completely overwhelmed me. By the time I hit the brakes, the moment was gone.  I fretted over it a little for several days. I kept thinking I had missed an opportunity, or perhaps I was supposed to learn or do something?

A few days later there was another moment, again outside my control to react. I realized, analyzing the second time, that I had done exactly what had been expected of me.  I had recognized and attempted to respond to God’s intense presence even though I was totally pre-occupied.  It reminded me of the first time instinct told me to jump to catch a line drive baseball. What I remember most was being amazed that the ball was in my glove. I caught many more baseballs, but that memory is still vivid. God had hit a line drive of love, I had jumped and caught it even if for no other purpose than to create the memory. I am in His glove no matter what I might be doing.

For further reflection: 1 Samuel 3