Right in Front of Me

The little pond stayed so far away, yet it was right in front of me
I saw it from high above but had never risked the short journey
Still I could not go straight to it, the walk in the shape of a bow
In stealth and slowness I blended in as if the quarry would know

It did not appear at the end of the half loop where it should be
I had missed the trajectory but would not miss the quests destiny
Guessing, I looked for signs of open space, no trees blocking sky
Clues that pave the way into the heart of truth, towards the why

Staring at the beauty I could not help but wish to live at this place
At that thought something snapped, feelings I could not embrace
I resisted, my humanity wanted a cabin built here to contemplate
But, inside I knew my soul desired – needed, to sense heartache

I left behind both to bring myself back to reality, to life’s chores
But, thoughts like this do not away, I must pursue the contours
Waiting is not a natural skill for me, pushing far easier to accept
The moment arrived unannounced; I did not expect the intercept

Confusion swirled inside my head, why would this person rail
How could he be against what I believed, yet on the same trail
His anger flared its ugly head, venting, the only way to release
I did not like the tension, as I thought I had permanent peace

In an exchange of human words I saw how deep my mistake
Shame then took its toll, healing needing to replace heartbreak
Prayer came easy, knowing God’s forgiveness a breath away
The other mans prior wounds shaped his world of lonely days

He right there with the rest of us, close, he struggles to let go
Two thoughts began to merge, the pond’s quest, how it shows
A trajectory easily missed, right in the center of the openness
Shouting out to my inexperience, much to learn of brokenness

Offered this opportunity, I take a baby step towards the goal
To see with open heart, to give love away to a bleeding soul
Perhaps the lesson tough, another wall down to seeing Christ
He right in front of me, self, learning to give way to sacrifice 

 

I had never pursued sneaking a peak at a small pond I could see looking at topographic maps a very short distance from my home.  One day it appeared the property was abandoned, so I took a walk around the perimeter.  I did not quite end up at the right place because of a little hill surrounding the entire pond.  One way to find a pond of water in a forest is to look towards the tops of trees for gaps in the canopy.  I was able to walk right up to look down into the ponds beauty and my first thought was I could easily live in a small cabin on top of the hill at this hidden sanctuary. 

But God had other plans, as a deep feeling of dread suddenly hit me and I quickly escaped the place. The feeling would not go away.  At an unexpected eruption of a classmate I was shocked and confused and pushed back real hard. In the discovery process I learned he had been previously deeply wounded and now was attempting to hide away the pain, yet still live right in the center of everything.  My journey and dread at the beautiful little pond intercepted with this moment and it all made sense. God had provided another lesson in letting self go so I could see the view as the other person. It seemed to me I could help heal the brokenness with love.
For further reflection: Psalm 147