So Much Like Straw

The place was filled with occasional souls who visit just in case
They all felt certain to receive you no matter their state of grace
Your love of them so precious, all are invited to taste your flesh
Some knew just a piece of bread, others the depth of its refresh

Paten slowly emptied, each “The Body of Christ” a burning ember
sending your love and peace in hope that the flame would linger
Souls flowed in a hushed procession to reflect after they received
I glanced up to see far more of you needed for those who believed

I went to Fr. Joe to fill the bowl again as your people needed more
but his words drove panic and fear that shook me to my very core
I was to break you into pieces to share you the best that we could
I gathered every ounce of strength to believe this had to be good

As I gently broke you in half, fear metamorphed into ecstasy
my mind left reason, bones melted, and muscles turned to jelly
You caught me as I melded with other souls into your domain
and held me up to speak of your truth in the words we proclaim

Time seemed to stop as I sensed more of you all part of the one
Divinity gathered for all present to see this glimpse into heaven
Love’s intensity burst out to everyone in ways I cannot describe
for you so wanted each of them to know you, to feel you inside

Silent friends sent joy as they danced in this place you bestow
Moments slowed further still as crumbs of you began to glow
then disappeared as I watched my finger sweep you into paten
Pieces of you became smaller yet love increased until the end

Breath returned, you knew I could not take much more of this
Slowly you gave back my humanity to me with one last kiss
Thoughts merged to how I should comprehend and explain
this moment when you wanted everyone’s love to sustain

How can I ever express loves truth so beyond anything known
Your gentle touch, in a single breath, all move to your throne
There are no words immense enough to describe this glory
that awaits us; my words a simple shadow of the total story

St. Thomas of Aquinas spoke in eloquent volume of what I shared
“All that I have written seems to me like so much straw compared
to what I have seen and what has been revealed to me” this Easter Day
as the love we know in this earthly place cannot compare in any way

I have to say I have not lived a more vivid Moment for Christ. All my life I have believed Christ himself becomes that small wafer of bread. Now here I was on this Easter Day, forced to break His bone and flesh into pieces, I could not even imagine the depth of this pain. When I broke the first piece I literally melted into a joy that is not expressible. I felt myself being propped up in so many ways reaching deep in places I had not been before. The opposite of what was my fear happened, the smaller I had to break Him into pieces the greater the love contained in the piece. It seemed like heaven itself came to join Him in the moment sending joy and peace outward to everyone. I could not even keep track of how many other souls were there helping out, each one flitting about touching everyone they could.

As the minutes ticked by I watched little crumbs from each breaking motion settle onto my hand. They literally glowed in goodness and love. When I swept them back into the paten they merged back in as if part of another piece. As the last person stepped up to receive there was only one last piece of Christ perhaps only a quarter inch square. When I finished I looked down into the paten and it was spotless looking freshly polished. As normal reality returned I felt myself breathing as if I had not known what breathing was before. I will never adequately be able to express what happened. I take comfort in the fact as Fr. Brian told me that even St. Thomas could go no further in his work after an experience during a Mass.

For further reflection: St Thomas Aquinas, Summa Tehnologia – The Passion of Christ