Words Not Heard

Whispers heard yet no one but I could to hear the missing sound
Single words that had no volume, no vibration that could be found
Something told me I was ok, do not worry I was not hearing things
This could not be, I ignored them so self instead drove my bearings

A restless word echoed, would not go free, would not leave me alone
Try as I might this word Mary appeared in silence, as if cast in stone
For the first time I had to choice in all of this, I tried to comprehend
why would God want me to pay attention; this madness had to end

For months I prayed and even read of Mary to try and understand
Frustration built until one day I demanded God to reveal His hand
In that moment I felt shame in what I had done, no deeper sorrow
I had ever felt, I feared of how wrong this time was my human ego

With heart now opened, love poured in to heal this kind of wound
Gentle peace began its awesome roar, I heard instead a different tune
The word was not Mary but marry, in tears I saw how I was blind
to a simple truth that I should have seen, now clear from the divine

I was too young for marriage; I could not be more absolute and sure
But how could I argue against this greater truth of thoughts so pure
There is a first time for everything, the message clear that I could see
I gave up my humanity to let my soul ask of her to always be with me

This began two paths I am on, this world of life and loving family
with sweet breaths I sense of other things outside of normal reality
To ebb and flow, to touch sometimes, a joy I cannot explain in words
with reason left behind, to let Christ’s grace lift my soul upwards

When I was a young man, one day a single word just simply took possession of me and would not go away no matter what I tried to do. Being young and foolish without any sense of direction I believed the word was Mary. Somehow I knew from the beginning God had given me this word to drive me nuts. And it did until one day I could not take it anymore and insisted in a very argumentative way that He tell me right that instant what I supposed to do with it. I felt humility in the moment that I have never forgotten and still struggle to understand and explain. By the end of that conversation I figured out the word was really marry. The rest is history, my wife and I have been married 30 years and have 3 wonderful children. During this time I have continued to listen and when I can be sure it is God whispering to me, I follow His directions.

For further reflection: 1 John 4